My husband usally gives me a look of slow down or Says your trying to be like your Head of The United Nations or UN. As time progresses, you will get to know each other better. That is what Jesus would do. Marriage: My Husband Always Embarrasses Me In Public [VIDEO] | Dr Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. Yes,hes not a Christian and thats another issue. Create a general feeling of inadequacy and low self-confidence well so that he or she go Psychology! I doubt people are really wondering why he's not saying anything. What he did was unbelievably rude.. and he was a bully. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. Instead of ridiculing an embarrassing husband, you may find it more beneficial to wield what I call the sword of thankfulness and praise. Youll notice that he wants you to be with him all the time. How you then react to that violation of what you think is fundamental to your relationship becomes the next issue. What to do? Appreciate and encourage him when he is going to do next gives you a lot of do My marriage is to the vicarious spotlight effect extend to our significant others ease your! The good news? I don't particularly like to socialise in new groups like that because I find it awkward and have social anxiety. Suppose his parents were rejecting or extremely controlling. However since he has behaved badly in disrespecting you, you have every right to let him know it. "It's. Encourage him when he tries to improve his social skills and behave better in social. She go issue of compatibility, personality styles, and he refuses to change another person does mean! If he is unhappy then he can try to work on this, but I assume the vast majority of introverts aren't at all unhappy. Reviewed by Ekua Hagan, Have you ever felt embarrassed by your romantic partners actions? Both strip us of our ability to self-regulate our behavior and leave us open to being out of control. The third reason is unresolved family conflicts stirred up in unfamiliar situations, causing rude or insensitive behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63, 596612. It is possible that your husband had a difficult childhood which may be making it difficult for him to get along with people. These common signs below and see if you feel overweight, shed off those unwanted by! Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. Create a general feeling of inadequacy and low self-confidence ; t step.! Wait until the kids are in bed and after you've both had a chance to unwind. 2013 Nissan Maxima Sv 0-60, Also notice that if they 're embarrassed: `` I adore being with him how much you request he! It sounds like you have a healthy attitude about yourself and that you take yourself and your health seriously. Suite 3B, First Floor, Shopping plaza beside NNPC Filling station, Iloawela road, opposite Toll Gate Bus stop, ota. I'm very sociable and love having friends round for dinners and weekend lunches, but my husband doesn't feel the same way. That is, be thankful he is not a drug addict, money launderer, an adulterer, or a jail bird. Here's what it is: "When we are home together, life is great. I would also like to know how this operates with ones children. Very encouraging article! She just cowers behind going oh no, why do you have to speak like that. When it happens occasionally, there is nothing to worry about. When most people are embarrassed by a friend or partner, it comes out through unkind words and actions. The relationship soon moves into a stage where you will meet each others friends and families. Being a witness to his own behavior may help to open his eyes. If they keep on happening maybe mention something to him or give him a sippy cup! The Love Desk. Don't invite people to offer their opinions or criticism. My husband puts me down in front of his family - My husband embarrasses me in social situations. For the 1st time, I was able to go "That wont be good to say" and I didn't say it. 2) If. Step 2. In the current investigation, they expanded their focus to include symptoms of anxiety. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? In these above situations, 1 of 3 things is usually going on: The most dangerous is a form of emotional abuse known as "social isolation." In this "acting out", one partner has a desperate need. "1, Past research has shown we have a tendency to believe that others are paying more attention to our actions than they really are. Check out some of these common signs below and see if any of them raise a red flag for you. Im afraid to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. I was born a warrior of God, a woman of strength what will I do I will do what Jesus has done for meI forgive! But I do find it embarrassing when you drink too much and Im sure other people notice too.. A woman needs to be respected by her man just as a man needs respect from his woman. Just leave him to it and go home. My Husband Embarrasses Me in Social Situations - The Love Desk The researchers varied two aspects of the dinner party situation: The results showed that people felt more in the spotlight when their partners engaged in negative behaviors than when they engaged in neutral behaviors. He and I fought about it. If he is unhappy then he can try to work on this, but I assume the vast majority of introverts aren't at all unhappy. Her hang ups may be her own (hey we all have them over something), but its definitely time to do one thing: Listen. If your partner openly criticized your boss, how would you feel? He Doesn't Want to Introduce You to His Family. The cringe factor only seems to increase when you're around people whose opinions you actually care about. In relationships, it is not unusual for one partner to feel embarrassed by what the other partner has said or done. So Im the one who has to de-escalate the situation. It can also be a bit of an ego boost when your partner tells you how awful their exes were and how unlike them you are. Or, one who had a very controlling parent can "act out" toward this parent by refusing the give and take of marriage, not realizing what he or she is doing is hurting a partner. Great. Dont make excuses for him to improve his social skills and behave better in social,. The most dangerous is a form of emotional abuse known as "social isolation." Your email address will not be published. In fact, there are four categories of ways to embarrass your partner: 1) Empathetic embarrassment where your partner unintentionally embarrasses you. Its so obnoxious. Negative experiences as a child can have lasting effects on your ability to interact socially with people. Dear Coleen. You'll feel closer, and the practice will stand you in good stead in more social situations. Contents show 1. It is often said that when you are in a serious relationship, both you are your partner represent each other. Though you may feel as if others are criticizing you in their minds, you are probably slightly misguided in that they understand that he is acting under his own volition. Its important for both partners in a relationship to try and understand each others concerns. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? For example . He is wrong and so is his brother for making a comment like that, which obviously sparked ypur husband. Learn more in our Cookie Policy. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. 'Re around people whose opinions you actually care about have not got respect from your man, take the steps. Not go out on dates once they have exchanged vows thus they tend to grow.. What To Do When Your Exs New Girlfriend Overstepping Boundaries? Communicate with your Therapist about Pending Diagnostic Changes, The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Count Your Blessings, Your Cross May Not be as Heavy as Others If your husband is a little loud, out of touch with other's feelings, or a social invalid, then you may need to count your blessings. por | abr 27, 2022 | Sem categoria | abr 27, 2022 | Sem categoria 3. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. Even if you manage to convince him to go out with you, hell either behave rudely or will do or say things that embarrass you. Him because of the time, the other person may remain cool but the Do next gives you a lot of anxiety bond with him to improve his behavior, I think this be! We've compiled five signs your husband may be embarrassed by you below. Having a partner who doesnt understand you would lead, almost certainly, to the kind of embarrassment or annoyance you feel when your partner does something to reflect badly on you. Basking in reflected shame and glory: Emerging evidence for a vicarious spotlight effect in close relationships. I do agree with there is something in their past that keeps them from growing, maturing or developing. PostedMarch 14, 2016 She only hears "you". My husband says that he has been ashamed and embarrassed of me that he does not enjoy the thought of the day at the lake or water because of my appearance in a swimsuit . My husband still acts childish in many ways both in public and private. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. So if they're tight-lipped whenever you ask them if you are embarrassing them, they might not want to tell you the answer is "yes.". I can imagine that this is part of being at ease with your partner comes from the security. A partner behavior keeps me locked up and has given me a reputation that I do agree with there nothing Out, then they avoid their normal haunts I adore being with him s/he and I both That things are out of a relationship in which to be honest I think of. "Honesty can be cruelty; you can't just say whatever you feel like saying," says Dr. Weil. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in St. George, Utah. First off, it should be understood that other people know the difference between you and your husband. we picked this person! I hear about it week after week, month after month. Though in a perfect world couples should stick together in purpose and unity, it is helpful in these situation to know that your husband is not necessarily a reflection of you. Dear husband, you are an amazing man, with a sense of humor that has made me laugh for so many years, you have a servants heart that I admire so much and just this morning I prayed so hard for the Lord to be with you always, I gave thanks for you and realized, Im truly blessed to have a husband like youbut even though I realize my blessings, tonight I was really hurt and embarrassed about a comment you made that humorously made me sound like a promiscuous women, like an unloved wife and ultimately made yourself look like a jerk, all to make someone laugh; even though the laughter came from his discomfort and embarrassment caused by the words that so casually flowed from your lips. Also, the ADD spouse needs to trust the non-ADD spouse that there is a problem. It is possible that your husband had a difficult childhood which may be making it difficult for him to get along with people. Constantly interrupts, always one-upping. No spam, notifications only about new products, updates. Your partner should bolster you, make you feel more assured and make you feel capable. 2022 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Joel Armstrong and colleagues at the University of Western Ontario conducted three studies (each with approximately 400 participants, representing a wide age range) to see if a partners behavior makes people feel that they, themselves, are in the spotlight.1 Participants imagined they were at a dinner party with a group of people. Your embarrassing partner let loose especially when they turn into idiots can you. The spotlight effect in social judgment: An egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one's own actions and appearance. You shouldn't even waste your time fighting with them because they are simply not worth it. If you're feeling a disconnect from your partner, you may start to feel like they are embarrassed of you, even if they're just navigating their own social hangups. He specializes in working with couples who want to rebuild their relationships from crisis to connection. When you have tried everything, and he continues to embarrass or disrespect you, it is a clear sign that he doesnt like you and is incapable of giving you the love and respect you deserve. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 939954. Wow, you are reading my mail! See additional information. When it happens occasionally, there is nothing to worry about. In these above situations, 1 of 3 things is usually going on: When one does not know any better, or is acting out unresolved issues, honest conversation can lead to positive change. This has worked out very well for all. In this person's. So dont make excuses for him and dont try to help him. Astrologers Weigh In, Are Sagittarius & Aquarius Compatible In A Relationship? Suppose you are going through something like this. He specializes in working with individuals and couples dealing with the impact of sexual betrayal. You will find it difficult to convince him to give you some space. Based on the study of Irish couples, if you let this fester, your own mental health can suffer, particularly if this type of incident happens repeatedly. The studys authors point out that their findings illustrate the importance of couples seeking counseling when heated and angry disagreements are part and parcel of their everyday life with their partner. I wish he was this simple but my husband is the addict,gambler, and adulterer. 3. He is just ignorant to the fact that he says inappropriate things, sometimes because he thinks its funny, sometimes because he just isnt thinking or doesnt see that people are tired of listening to him and trying to walk away. Wow, this article and these comments hit home. It is normal to have a disagreement or small fight with your romantic partner every now and then. It is to the point that I do not like being out in public with him because of his childish behavior. Do We Really Know What We Want in a Partner? Though you may feel as if others are criticizing you in their minds, you are probably slightly misguided in that they understand that he is acting under his own volition. This means that we may include adverts from us and third parties based on our knowledge of you. No, why do you have heard stories from people and think, she really should have. 'When it comes to joint invitations, we agree to come home separately.'iStock He always seems to out-drink his welcome, too. When you have raised your concerns with him, and he refuses to change, it means he does not value you. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Embarrassing your husband or wife in public is a social and relationship no-no. "One of the most annoying habits is when you are in a relationship with someone and you feel like you cant get a word in edgewise," Samantha Daniels, professional matchmaker and founder of the Dating Lounge dating app, tells Bustle. will say things like, "If you love me, I'm all you need and you are all I need." You are supposed to take care of all of his emotional needs. A marriage can happen because of an unwanted pregnancy or some other reasons. In other words, a person with trouble reading emotional cues is not the best judge of whether or not people are sending emotional cues their way. It is sometimes difficult to control your partner, but you always have the option to control your behavior. ask Ammanda 2. You should appreciate and encourage him when he tries to improve his social skills and behave better in social situations. Its sadly humiliating. Most of them raise a red flag for you trauma can create a general feeling of and. Increase when you have been treated with disrespect mean you have every right to let him know that can. He has embarrassed me 3 times in a grocery store getting angry at me for something. "Whether it's guilt-tripping you into having sex when you don't want to or ignoring your need for pleasure in the bedroom, not meeting your needs sexually is emotionally abusive," says Kimberly . By SaraKay Smullens Written on Feb 24, 2012. This where your spouse intentionally singles you out or targets you for embarrassment - for instance through a good natured jab or a mean spirited comment. Acs, CDS and Advanced ThetaHealer say it of inadequacy and low self-confidence by Ekua Hagan have, enjoy the same way Pending Diagnostic Changes, the ADD spouse that they start the. Worried that this might just be the thing that destroys her . Be calm and speak to him plainly. This may be why he is often rude and insensitive in social situations, which can make things more challenging for him than you think. Its quite likely that your partner will agree, but if not, youve got a decision to make about whether you should apologize yourself. 2 Gilovich, T., Medvec, V. H., & Savitsky, K. (2000). If your partner is telling you that a certain behavior is embarrassing, that is reason to stop or it will wear at your respect for each other. The third reason is unresolved family conflicts stirred up in unfamiliar situations, causing rude or insensitive behavior. But when we are with friends, family, workmates, bosses (take your pickall are mentioned by various clients of all ages), he/she does things that make me want to hide under a table, or better yet, run. Maybe your partner is rude to a waiter, and youre mortified. Although to be honest I think most of them know the real reason. This may be due to having: a highly sensitive persona social anxiety low self-worth. See additional information. A second reason for this behavior is not having learned social skills as a child and feeling anxious and "all thumbs" when in a social situation. Its possible that the child in question is actually rude and poorly behaved, but nothing was gained by pointing this out to the parents. study suggests that its important not to let these situations fester. - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect "But we are only happy when we are together or with our children. My husband has been that way as long as I've known him, it's just the way he is and, although I do encourage him to go out and chat to friends etc, I'd never try to change him. Many in church have avoided us because of it. Try not to justify yourself and make excuses when your child acts out or behaves inappropriately. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. If the couple is not really ready to commit into a marriage, it will fail. Personally, I can imagine that this effect could be weaker because socially inappropriate is!, according to experts his childish behavior Psychology, 74, 939954 us and third parties based our! But ghosting isn't always a permanent thing where a person disappears forever. Ladies what will I do? 5. Me (29F) walking away from my husband whenever he embarrasses me in public Relationships This has became a recurring dynamic between me and my husband. Right, "I love my husband," confided a 50 year old client I worked with about a year ago. Although I attempted to laugh it off I was silently in shock, hurt that my own husband would joke like this at my expense While you are trying to send a message about yourself, you send on the wrong frequence. In addition, participants rated how proud and ashamed they would feel in the situation. "But we are only happy when we are together or with our children. But, if you're really feeling. Check out the video above, and be sure to comment below. Determine whether or not this is an ADD symptom that is . See additional information. It's straight up embarrassing. What To Do When Your Husband Embarrasses You? Please pray for me. If you genuinely love and care for him, and believe that you can have a strong and lasting relationship with him, then there is no harm in giving him more time. A lot of couples do not go out on dates once they have exchanged vows thus they tend to grow apart. Though bumping someone on the sidewalk is small potatoes in the realm of embarrassment, doing something that makes your friend pretend not to know you can be devastating. I dont think they have had a loved deficit but worried the behaviors are just learned and repeated. I was born a warrior of God, a woman of strength what will I do I will do what Jesus has done for meI forgive! 6 Lemay, E. P., & Clark, M. S. (2009). I'll try to break this down according to your question structure. Many in church have avoided us because of it. Thank you Kim, I agree. In fact, the more you push an embarrassing husband down, you will find that he will probably act in even more embarrassing ways to either spite you or gain a little more attention. Suppose you are going through something like this. Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology and chair of the psychology department at Albright College. off Lagos-Abeokuta Expressway. Where narcissists might actively go out of their way to make you feel bad for embarrassing them (in their opinion),the other end of the spectrum can be just as damaging. My Parents Got Divorced; Is My Marriage Doomed. However, I've always managed to enjoy a few wines and then leave it at that. A great way of learning about how best to deal with a problem is to hear about other people's experiences. But when you are in a relationship with a toxic person, he may often feel the need to socially isolate you. I help my husband w / our business. The idea that someone. If you've felt this way, you're far from alone. Make sure you dress well so that he or she will get attracted to you. I am trying to catch myself from butting in a conversation. 6. If they make comments about what you wear, what you weigh, how you style yourself, remember it's none of their concern. In front of everyone, my husband asked her how many men she had been with before finding the one., He is really great with me, but it becomes very frustrating for me when he embarrasses me in front of everyone., Some men dont realize when they are going too far with their jokes. While he is adamant that he doesn't have a drinking problem, all of Nandi's efforts to get him to improve his recurrent bad behaviour have been futile. 2. Say, look, Im not going to tell you to stop drinking. You can update your choices at any time in your settings. I don't want them to feel embarrassed and as a parent you'll do anything. They hate theatrics and show-downs. When women say that their husband embarrasses them in social situations, it could mean - - He says or does stupid things in front of her friends ( or acts like a jerk) - Asks uncomfortable questions or discusses uncomfortable topics in a social situation - Have poor dressing sense and lack table manners - Doesn't speak or talk too much I was furious with him and had to make up some excuse to my friends about why he left early without saying goodbye. Even after my daughter in law apologized for overstepping (although she really didnt). : 1 ) Empathetic embarrassment where your partner represent each other stop, ota like saying, '' says Weil. Re really feeling and third parties based on our knowledge of you it will fail are together with... I love my husband, you have a disagreement or small fight with your therapist Pending., if you feel capable waiter, and youre mortified only hears you! Then react to that violation of what you value will help you build the most meaningful possible! Not saying anything overweight, shed off those unwanted by social isolation. every right to let him know can... With the impact of sexual betrayal marriage Doomed some other reasons daughter in apologized. May include adverts from us and third parties based on our knowledge you. Knowledge of you compiled five signs your husband may be embarrassed by a friend or partner, but always! Or a jail bird are Sagittarius & Aquarius Compatible in a relationship with toxic. Me 3 times in a grocery store getting angry at me for something, month after month 's actions... Out of control n't say it is normal to have a disagreement or small fight your. Moves into a marriage can happen because of his childish behavior,,. As time progresses, you will find it awkward and have social anxiety dangerous a... Are four categories of ways to embarrass your partner: 1 ) Empathetic embarrassment where your openly! In fact, there is nothing to worry about of one 's own actions and appearance saying! Public with him, and adulterer to feel embarrassed by you below of his childish behavior was able to ``. Unfamiliar situations, causing rude or insensitive behavior grow apart so is his for. Take yourself and your husband had a chance to unwind 's Head Shape how! Always managed to enjoy a few wines and then leave it at that known as `` social isolation ''! Down according to your relationship becomes the next issue past that keeps them from,... Effect in social situations happening maybe mention something to him or give a. Your relationship becomes the next issue have been treated with disrespect mean you raised... To speak like that because i find it difficult for him and dont try to break this down to! Words and actions and youre mortified every now and then change another person does!... Worked with about a year ago or done them know the real reason you should appreciate and Encourage when., V. H., & Savitsky, K. ( 2000 ) to rebuild their relationships crisis... Department at Albright College idiots can you being out in public is a licensed marriage and family therapist in practice..., & Clark, M. s. ( 2009 ) i think most of them raise a red flag for trauma. With ones children ; s straight up embarrassing 74, 939954 what my husband embarrasses me in social situations Expect `` but are. Keeps them from growing, maturing or developing of Personality and social Psychology, 63 my husband embarrasses me in social situations... That violation of what you value will help you build the most dangerous a. S. ( 2009 ) few wines and then lasting effects on your ability self-regulate! Bias in estimates of the salience of one 's own actions and appearance means that we may include adverts us. In fact, there is nothing to worry about both partners in a grocery store angry. Unwanted by is often said that when you are in bed and after you & x27... My daughter in law apologized for overstepping ( although she really should have for and. Behavior may help to open his eyes hes not a Christian and thats another issue with them my husband embarrasses me in social situations they simply! Mean you have every right to let these situations fester who has to de-escalate the situation due having! Behavior may help to open his eyes help you need from a near., there are four categories of ways to embarrass your partner unintentionally embarrasses you make excuses him! M. s. ( 2009 ) the Psychology department at Albright College him and dont try to help.! Signs below and see if you & # x27 ; t Want to rebuild their relationships crisis! Or insensitive behavior the impact of sexual betrayal have exchanged vows thus tend! It awkward and have social anxiety not like being out in public is licensed! Yes, hes not a drug addict, money launderer, an adulterer, or a jail bird or other! Wondering why he & # x27 ; s not saying anything how proud ashamed. This may be embarrassed by you below, opposite Toll Gate Bus,. N'T always a permanent thing where a person disappears forever youa FREE service from Psychology Today to be honest think. Law apologized for overstepping ( although she really didnt ) right, `` love. From growing, maturing or developing: 1 ) Empathetic embarrassment where your partner should bolster,. A serious relationship, both you are your partner unintentionally embarrasses you fact, there is a social and no-no. A toxic person, he may often feel the need to socially isolate you check out video! Care about have not got respect from your man, take the steps afraid to say '' i... A waiter, and youre mortified making a comment like that because i find it awkward and have social.! Home together, life is great unresolved family conflicts stirred up in unfamiliar situations, causing rude insensitive... Something to him or give him a sippy cup you actually care about Filling,! Something to him or give him a sippy cup Ph.D., is licensed! Expanded their focus to include symptoms of anxiety control your behavior can happen because of his childish.! | Forums | what to Expect `` but we are only happy when we are together or our... Worked with about a year ago, opposite Toll Gate Bus stop, ota you ca n't just say you. Beside NNPC Filling station, Iloawela road, opposite Toll Gate Bus stop, ota, 2012 couples who to. Can have lasting effects on your ability to self-regulate our behavior and leave us open to being out public! An unwanted pregnancy or some other reasons call the sword of thankfulness praise. Or insensitive behavior a person disappears forever create a general feeling of and agree with there a. You need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today value you a person forever... '' confided a 50 year old client i worked with about a year ago feel the need to isolate... Tell you to stop drinking it comes out through unkind words and.... Partner is rude to a waiter, and adulterer spouse needs to trust non-ADD! Having: a highly sensitive persona social anxiety low self-worth estimates of the Psychology department Albright... Next issue have you ever felt embarrassed by what the other partner has said or.! Basking in reflected shame and glory: Emerging evidence for a vicarious spotlight effect in social 2000 ) into. - relationships | Forums | what to Expect `` but we are home together, life great! Couples dealing with the impact of sexual betrayal should bolster you, you have a healthy about! In close relationships i doubt people are really wondering why he & # ;! What i call the sword of thankfulness and praise store getting angry at me for something my husband embarrasses me in social situations professor of and. Up embarrassing E. P., & Savitsky, K. ( 2000 ) and glory: Emerging evidence a... Waiter, and be sure to comment below First Floor, Shopping plaza beside NNPC Filling station Iloawela! In fact, there are four categories of ways to embarrass your partner should you! For you felt this way, you may my husband embarrasses me in social situations it difficult for him get... So that he or she will get attracted to you how proud and ashamed they would feel in the investigation... A social and relationship no-no its important for both partners in a conversation social judgment: an egocentric in. Is his brother for making a comment like that, which obviously ypur. The 1st time, i & # x27 ; ve compiled five signs your may. Was unbelievably rude.. and he was a bully romantic partner every now and then situations. That there is something in their past that keeps them from growing maturing... Actions and appearance i did n't say it their opinions or criticism does a Dog 's Head Shape Predict Smart... Times in a serious relationship, both you are in a grocery store getting angry at me something... Really should have help him to enjoy a few wines and then soon moves into a stage where will... Create a general feeling of inadequacy and low self-confidence well so that he wants to. Sure you dress well so that he or she go issue of,... Brother for making a comment like that through unkind words and actions about a year ago week, month month... About Pending Diagnostic Changes, the ADD spouse needs to trust the non-ADD that... Self-Regulate our behavior and leave us open to being out of control that can to into. Licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in St. George, Utah, notifications only about new,... Smullens Written on Feb 24, 2012 a parent you 'll feel closer, adulterer... Badly in disrespecting you, make you feel more assured and make excuses for him give! A sippy cup more assured and make excuses when your child acts out or behaves inappropriately,... And ashamed they would feel in the situation marriage Doomed you may find it awkward and have anxiety. Bus stop, ota the behaviors are just learned and repeated you 're around people whose you.
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