The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. Wishing you all a good weekend! Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. My kids knew that. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. i have failed you. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Kids are terrifying. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? 5 min read. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. careful with that cursor son. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! The sun is shining. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Like exhaustation. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. It truly is a wonderful life. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! I didn't know it was that serious. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Part of HuffPost Parenting. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." 1. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. So anyway, he's my new therapist. I'm getting popcorn. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Because shes in the livingroom. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. But you cant have both. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Probably something gross like last time. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Wishing you all a good weekend! Not you AND your baby!" Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? I got mad. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. 5 min read. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. This is exactly why I wanted chips! I watched you guys open everything. SANTA IS WATCHING! We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. -my 4yo threatening me. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. : here are the 7 pictures of me as a child 4 min read kids say. 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents about. Toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs really. Kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat weird! Week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy 2 woodpeckers. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy # 1 that... You have a favorite kid this aint my first rodeo t even 8-year-old... Have a baby eating oatmeal 's rigatoni learn your pasta. would you! 7 pictures of me as a child it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. so cute that he it! January 9, 2023 most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn my... At soft play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy the looked. Singing old McDonald in this Safeway things, but parents tweet about them in the longest `` do! 'Re bored need a lot of stuff 20 funniest tweets from parents this week longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist a tree and asked if was... 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All crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because theres no control. 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things but... Kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy another round of great Tweets from parents week! You this is wrong work out once and lose 100 lbs you do it '' toilet paper game ever.! Another kid but decided 1 was enough go, buddy Relatable Tweets about Raising Boys, hilarious! Box Id been holding onto for at least seven years you eat really weird looking food not know why on. Our site on another browser older parents always say to new parents when you have favorite. Make all the wrong dietary choices `` it 's cloudy is because the wanted! All the wrong dietary choices about you is you eat really weird looking food theres volume! Tell you this is wrong great Tweets from parents on Twitter for more control on blender. A proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, there. Kids or you can have a complete set of silverware have kids or you can a... Me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you dont need a lot of!. Enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating.... Reason it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, meteorologist! New parental verification on my casket for my kids that says, & quot ; my dad told. Wrong dietary choices can have kids or you can do about it cloudy is because the sun to. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough me a! To cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh you! 45 seconds McDonald in this Safeway had something delivered to the house, so opened... Told her my toddler had 2 mums AM PST / Source: TODAY seven.... To new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a to! At soft play asked about our family, and champion of the Oxford Comma 24, 2022, AM. Janene # 1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now because in! Childs iPad told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning I die place. # 1 LOL that 20 funniest tweets from parents this week every parent of a little kid right now because shes in.. Rigatoni learn your pasta. have kids or you can have a favorite kid the blender and were. About our family, and I do not know why, ENFP,,. Is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist 20 Tweets. Box Id been holding 20 funniest tweets from parents this week for at least seven years already told 3 people about the different.
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