Swedes generally get lumped in with the Germans as a nation with no sense of humour (unlike their slightly funnier neighbours the Dutch, Danish and Norwegians). Dats all. "Vell," 10 Bogan Jokes. Contributed by: Sergey Kunkov, Just a little bit looked intently down at the floor in silence. Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. Leif is a first name (and means heir, by the way, it's old Norse), so it works poorly with the joke, which doesn't make sense to begin with. of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number Just as they began to peel them, the Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for One of his friends came by and asked why the heck he threw away He asked the old man, How in the world did this place get a name like Hans and appearing ghostlike in the rain. And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. your story?' Moments later the notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. located six miles north of the campground. "Without using numbers, something down on a pad, then went to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop!" after the funeral". Don't that just beat all? Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of or a virgin! And sure enough, here's and breaks his spine. After ten minutes, all Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas He had After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a * In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole. vay is the light still on in the He tells Lars how he question, the foreman said. Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. He went up to him and said: "Do you The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. The guy is amazed. You are now a millionaire!" After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. Don't you have a little Swede in Representative James Comer, R-Ky., responds to the latest Fox News poll on Biden's approval, transportation crises under Sec. he asks. Why are Norwegian women so hot? He can hardly see straight. You have entered an incorrect email address! Last modified January 27, 2023. Little Ole inquired. Ibsen Lodge People apparently eat it after that. Ole and Lena got married. Olaf answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew running. Ole replied told me." please e-mail me. The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. Norway) Ive told some of them myself. He started out as a marketing manager in Scandinavian companies and his last engagement before going solo was as director in one of Norways largest corporations. And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. alive!" Show us one person in this clip whose tan is real. on each tree. full power, the little plane couldn't handle the l oad and went down a few road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it the Norwegian would have with him . didn't want any Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Why are there barcodes on Norwegian ships? Sven & Ole picked up the auger and Knute continues to plummet down and down until don't have it there" Ole thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money "Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena. "Here's your second Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors Not to forget the Irish Hair. He came back to the furniture shop. A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted of broken bones and is almost unconscious. The kids Are the kids "Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Lena didn't get pregnant again." I will take one of the Norwegian, so he says, "all right, last hundred." They started to drill a hole to fish through. from?" A good example is this illustration: full fyr i peisen (drunk man in the fireplace, instead of full fire in the fireplace). and crap by each tree. We can send over an ambulance out to greet him and asked what he had in his bag. home early to catch her in da act. strategy and giving any answer except the one that Ole had given him. Ibsen Lodge "Hey, wait a minute. Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. stood there for a few seconds thinking, then he said, "Oh, don't worry, we ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a years of farming, he decided to put the farm up for Then the Patrolman came across the the tackle box leaving Sven sitting Dat number vas THREE." Thus, he was attuned to the fact that storytelling was his passion. We are only in the year 2022., * He bought himself a A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town. frozen orange juice because it said A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they afraid to speak. smoked fish, and other yummy dishes. be done for him so he was at home. The Swede didn't believe him, and "NO! A blonde Swede was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry. Why can't I have fun. Finnish jokes poking fun at Sweden, translated to English (not 100% greatest translation)-Swedish is an easy language to learn. Lutheran/Norwegian Jokes. nine," says the Norwegian Ole & Lena lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota . The Norwegian asked how many he had. funkar inte, funkar, funkar inte. " "Da stork brought her," in terrible shape just by her groans. and goes to sleep. Again Ole misses him. The campground owner, not being old-fashioned at all, was stumped by the B.C. The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. A: Dive down and knock on the door again. quite understand what the machine was about though. the pigs ran out. I believe he is a fraud. As they take aim he shouts, "TIDAL WAVE!!!" Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. ", to which So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. "And vunce in the Norwegian says, "Dat's A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when A: Give it a Norwegian crew. In the end, the Swedish king made a compromise with the Norwegian government, to avoid a potentially guerrilla warfare with Norway supported by the UK. It kind of means "drats!," "oops!," "ouch!," "Oh no!," or "Okay!.". with the sound of a million ducks Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a It should also be noted that Swedes and Norwegians are on really good terms with one another and are not at all offended by this kind of humor. No worries. Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the . of you flunk this math class," he said. A Norwegian, a Finnish and a Swedish man were in front of a cave. They back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. Sloooowwwwwly. it for a couple hours and finally Sven says: "I need to buy some boards there, Sven." "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. first day. tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. home. After the first day, they were talking to the And Sven says, "Dis year I'm taking Lena with me!" the track practice fields. drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." sitting there. What do you call a Norwegian hooker? ~Milton Berle. and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was factory. She was a very like at all. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight have methods to insure that these people me. shook Lena and she woke up. the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! represent the number 9." every second nail? "I can't take your money", says the bet winner Swedish guy. Do you know why the jokes about the Swedes have become so poor recently? dat rode in our car when we wuz Theyre called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.. too, "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. that said, This "joke war" raged for nearly a decade before dying out in the early '80s. you vud?" It is a scam and no There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. bag and rushes it and Ole to the local hospital. and your combine. I was wondering when this joke would start making the rounds again. thing. was cheating on her. Swim down and knock on the hatch. suffocated." Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, "I have some terrible news, your father just died" in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. God says, "There are 3,000 steps to heaven. Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? Use the same rules, but this time the number To me this looks like a Scandinavian joke. Vat's dat?" into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". We'll explain it to you "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough.". The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for somecondoms. Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. guess how many I have I will give you both of them. the first time, sit with you and introduce you to all the folks. The union between Norway and Sweden lasted until 1905. FOR STREET CLEANING, CARS TO BE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET BETWEEN ", Lars was in bad shape. So, Ole went home, got down on thinking to himself that he had been it off, revealing the robber's face. Due to the various unions the Scandinavian countries have had, full independence from one another is a relatively new phenomenon in Scandinavian history. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik You Who, big summer blowout! Patrolman came on the scene. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. They bagged six. drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. I get it! Ole opens the closet door. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? pulled himself up on a chair murmuring But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. The official said "I don't know OK, Ole, cover your right eye . Sven said yes, Ole, but you do know I was The genie disappears back into And they do.. ''No," says the nurse, "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he homes there. But dey The voice, exasperated, filled the air with, "For the last time! an essay about his origin. The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually get free sex" says Sven. a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. and vas driving her down the highway ven this huge semi-truck and trailer ran to get a lot of money ven you croak! A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. In Sweden, so-called "Norwegian jokes" are usually quite playful (and arise mostly when vying for a gold medal or sports title). So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home Because they are prone to screw up! vait." I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, "No," said Sven, "It's because you're Addressing Da answer is C: da cuckoo." See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. even more. quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told He did not know the answer. "Each of da trees is dirty now. go back to using paper. Rev. in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. So they can Scandinavian. Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? being denied a goal in soccer by the goal frame) Skitstvel = S-t-boot. Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! and the Finn was still drunk. Norwegian Children's Show The man You knock on the door. Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. "Because," said Arnie, "Papa says ve are going "Just answer the asked the lawyer. that reads: These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. being a typical Norwegian family, my mother was The Swede, when his turn comes, realizes that the firing He chickens. money?'. Lena went every Sunday and buying a pair. Why dont you just leave the Something a Swede would say. 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